Me My Mindset & Mechanisms .....

Me My Mindset & Mechanisms .....

Hey Everyone 😄... Welcome back to yet another one of my mental health blogs 📑 ... in this blog I will be talking about Myself, My Mindset & My coping mechanism's to help me through my episodes. 

Sorry I haven't done a blog in a while. works been manic and life has too, but without these days we cant treasure the days where we van sit down chill relax and unwind your mind!

So.. Here we go... Its Me.

As you all know so far about me from my previous blogs I'm a 29 year old nearly 30!! ( old man syndrome) in 22 days time and looking back I have conquered some big quests in my time alive with my own life, health and mental well-being. I have found it really hard traveling along this road but to be honest I wouldn't change any of it because without this journey.. I wouldn't be able to share my experience with you reading this and also I wouldn't be able to look back and say.. ' Adam well done man you did it and you never thought you could'. I knew in life it wouldn't ever be easy no matter who you are or what happens.  I still to this day remember when it may have stem'd from and its what people forget its not easy to forget the things that go towards it. Name Calling, Body Shaming, Grief, and Bullying. 

" fat // jaws // brace face // short and tubbz // spotty // greaseball ' 

As we grow older it becomes not easier but it becomes bit more less challenging to remove the negative people around us and grow up as individuals with a whole new life with goals and achievements awaiting us. where as in our younger lives we would always want to fit in and be with the famous most popular kids right? wrong! 

I still remember how hard it was trying to open up. '"I'm struggling I cant tell you or anyone how I feel as I don't know. all I know is im drowning and I cant breathe. please stop me drowning 😔". the only way I can describe it was I was drowning in my own fears, thoughts, and self confidence, my anger, my hurt, my pain. will I ever get better? will I ever be me again? where has " Smiler" gone? please come back. it really hit home when people used to say to me... 'why dont you smile anymore?" or " your smiles not as bright what's made it fade?" and in all honesty how can I answer a question I didnt know the answer to?...

It took me a long time but sitting with friends and family I spoke out and it was them who said Adam you need to get some support with this and we will get you there. your still Adam and our friend and our family no matter what. This won't make you any less of a person or any less loved then what you already are... we love you. It didn't feel any easier but my weight was slowly lifted. Its not as heavy now, I was able to get water out of the boat and I could finally see my sails flying again and I was able to float and not sink.... the tears started falling and I felt the hurt and pain fall down my face in tears I could finally see the sun coming out and my smile back I was able to walk and not crawl. the fact I had them all being me cheering me on was enough for me to seek the help I needed. i can win my race. 

I rang the doctors. I got help. I am loved. I am cared about. I survived the fall. 

ring ring .. ring ring.. ring ring... hello this is doctors surgery can I take your name please... ( phone line cuts off) I hung up.. why am I scared to talk to you? you're not going to laugh at me... are you? 

it started the pain came back the hurt came back my boats sails lost control they started sinking again. I cant open unto you I dont know you... in my head I was failing by talking about this... I'm a failure to my friends and family. its fine I can do this alone. ( NO ADAM YOU CANT). 

I rang them again and same thing happened. I hung up. why is it so damn difficult to see they're there to help me? are you stupid?! ( NO YOUR NOT YOUR SCARED! THERES A DIFFERENCE)

In the end I did make the call I did open up. and I did speak out. its the best thing I ever did. I got the help I needed I got the help I wanted. Im slowly rebuilding myself & smiler has made a comeback.. it may have taken me years to do but time and progress and support make perfection. I have social anxiety, anxiety and depression and I still wake up daily with it but I embrace it daily now and I hold on to the right people the right support and the right techniques and I will get there. no matter what. I will win my own race. 

I am now a mens mental health advocate on the menunite page. I became a member of it 2/3 years ago got invited to it by a friend. joined but didn't open up as it was all new to me. again was back at stage one... ill just be judged il not matter my opinion won't matter. nobody will notice me anyway... again I was wrong! I got help support courage and love off the team in there. I ended up opening up and supporting other lads on the page who was struggling to which I received a message from one of the admins... my heart sank... what did I do wrong? 

Adam give yourself credit the inbox message aunt bad it was a question you needed to be asked .. it was along the lines of....

' hey dude, hope your keeping well, noticed you doing well in the group and have helped a lot of people in the group... would u like to help the team out and become an admin and help us?'

wow!! 🤯🤯 me? 

Of course I accepted this offer. best choice I've ever made!! the team is incredible the help and support from the lads is amazing and I'm am doing a lot better now too... I still have days where I cant cope Andy boat sinks but with the right support and right people and mindset I can find the leak in the boat and my sails will keep me floating to my destination. my destination maybe unknown but I will never ever give up on anyone or myself. I now have a peer support certificate in mental health. and I am so damn proud of myself and everyone around me. without the right push and chats I wouldn't be where I am now.

Thank-you to the ones who never gave up on me and helped me cope and see what I can and will achieve.

when help is needed it is needed there and then! please dont ever give up.... help is here just ask I promise it will be okay... if I can you can....

let me share a picture with you.... 

If you ever need to chat or to speak about stuff your not ready to talk to loved ones about my ears and the teams ears are always available and there are helplines too: 

• Samaritans. To talk about anything that is upsetting you, you can contact Samaritans 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. You can call 116 123 (free from any phone), email jo@samaritans.org or visit some branches in person. You can also call the Samaritans Welsh Language Line on 0808 164 0123 (7pm–11pm every day).
• SANEline. If you're experiencing a mental health problem or supporting someone else, you can call SANEline on 0300 304 7000 (4.30pm–10.30pm every day).
• National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK. Offers a supportive listening service to anyone with thoughts of suicide. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on 0800 689 5652 (open 24/7).
• Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM). You can call the CALM on 0800 58 58 58 (5pm–midnight every day) if you are struggling and need to talk. Or if you prefer not to speak on the phone, you could try the CALM webchat service.
• The Mix. If you're under 25, you can call The Mix on 0808 808 4994(3pm–midnight every day), request support by email using this form on The Mix website or use their crisis text messenger service.
• Papyrus HOPELINEUK. If you're under 35 and struggling with suicidal feelings, or concerned about a young person who might be struggling, you can call Papyrus HOPELINEUK on 0800 068 4141 (weekdays 10am-10pm, weekends 2pm-10pm and bank holidays 2pm–10pm), email pat@papyrus-uk.org or text 07786 209 697.
• Nightline. If you're a student, you can look on the Nightline website to see if your university or college offers a night-time listening service. Nightline phone operators are all students too.
• Switchboard. If you identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, you can call Switchboard on 0300 330 0630 (10am–10pm every day), email chris@switchboard.lgbt or use their webchat service. Phone operators all identify as LGBT+.
• C.A.L.L. If you live in Wales, you can call the Community Advice and Listening Line (C.A.L.L.) on 0800 132 737 (open 24/7) or you can text 'help' followed by a question to 81066.
• Helplines Partnership. For more options, visit the Helplines Partnershipwebsite for a directory of UK helplines. Mind's Infoline can also help you find services that can support you. If you're outside the UK, the Befrienders Worldwide website has a tool to search by country for emotional support helplines around the world.

or you can contact me on my twitter page: @_Addz20 and also join the menunite and womenunite Facebook private groups: 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/menunite1

https://www.facebook.com/groups/166513645246308

Thank you for taking your time to read this blog again... hope to see you soon and hope you enjoy it 💙

- Adam 

#mentalhealthmatters #youmatter #addzblog